


Demon Deal

by swimbfly



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depression, Gen, Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, My First Fanfic, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-08 10:15:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3205541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swimbfly/pseuds/swimbfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Making a deal with a demon shouldn't change so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Demon Deal

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first finished fanfiction. I know its dark and I in no way shape or form condone the actions of the main character in this. I do have personal experience with this topic and I did write her thoughts this based on that. Please feel free to leave me constructive criticism.

She wiped the gritty dirt coating her hands on her jeans as she stood, her nerves making her stomach flip as she looked around the deserted road. Her ears were straining to hear even the smallest sound as she waited. She was well aware of the risks of what she was doing but she also knew that this was the best way to get what she wanted. Her grey eyes continued to dart around the surrounding area as her nerves mount with every second.

  
“What is a beautiful thing like you doing in a place like this?” a dry accented voice asked from behind her.

  
The young woman jumps whipping around to stare at the well-dressed stranger standing being her. As her eyes rake his form, she straightens a slight grin playing on her mouth.

  
“Has that line ever worked?” She says looking at the man standing there, his hands in the pockets of his black suit, red shirt crisp with a matching black tie to complete the ensemble. He stood about her height with graying well-trimmed hair and beard. “And if I do say so myself,” she continued indicating to his clothes, “don’t you think you are taking this hell bound demon thing a little too seriously?”

  
The stranger’s eyes flash pure red as he chuckles, "darling I'm more than just a demon I'm the King. Names Crowley, now what can I do for you?"

  
“The King? And you came for me...you guys must be really short staffed.” She said running her hand through her short dark hair with a sigh. “I want to disappear completely, be wiped from every database and every memory. Have it be as if I had never existed. I don’t even care about how much time you give me. Can you do it?"

  
The demon raised an eyebrow; it was an awfully specific deal.

  
“You don’t want a new identity?” he asked.

  
“I wasn’t sure if that would be available.” She answered.

  
“Now how about this, I do what you wished, it would be as if you never existed, the only people that will remember you are those that you meet from this point on and to sweeten the deal I will provide you with the means to restart your life.” The demon said with a smile.

  
“What will the payment be for such a gift?” She asked her grey eyes narrowing.

  
“You get the same deal as anyone else, my dear. 10 years and then you are mine.” The demon answered. The woman nodded and stepped forward, she knew how deals were sealed. The demon met her and with his hand on her cheek brought their lips to meet. With that and a rush of magic it was done. She stepped away from the demon, moving to leave.

  
“What’s your name, darling? I like to know who I’m making deals with.” he asked from behind her.

  
“Couldn’t you just read my mind?” she asked from over her shoulder pausing for just a second.

  
“Now darling, if I could do that why would I ask?” Crowley answered.

  
“Catherine,” She said looking over her shoulder at the demon, her voice taking on an odd tone. “Its Catherine or Cat if you must.”

  
“Very well, see you in ten years, Cat.” The demon commented before disappearing.

 

* * *

  
**Two months later:**

**  
**Catherine stood on the ledge of a bridge, below her the river rushed; in her hand was a small silver dagger, nothing too out of place if one knew that the supernatural world existed. But there was no threat here. No monster to threaten her, no werewolf breathing down her neck, no vampire looking for its next meal; just her and the water. She turned the dagger over and over in her hands, her mind running as swiftly as the river below. She took a deep breath and placed the blade against her wrist, the point just barely digging into the skin.

  
Suddenly there was a cough behind her, just enough to break the silence of the park. She turned just enough to look behind her. Surprise barely crested the surface of her stormy emotions. It was Crowley of all people that damned demon.

  
“I thought that I wouldn’t be seeing you again, your Majesty.” She said her tone, somewhere between despair and sarcasm. “Or at least not while I was this side of breathing.”

  
“What are you doing here Cat?” he asked moving slightly so he wasn’t behind her anymore.

  
She snorts, a grim smile playing on her lips. Crowley’s eyes drifted over her taking in the torn jeans, the hair that had gotten way too long lying shaggily around her face, the knife on her bare arm, the brokenness in her posture, and the dead look in her eyes. His eyes quickly took account of their surroundings as well; the human in front of him was not exactly the most talkative at the moment. They were on an old stone bridge in the middle of a beautiful gorge, far under them was a rushing river and the night had just began to fall, which is probably why he was the only one here talking to her.

  
“You really feel the need to ask that question?” she voice asked.

  
“No not really,” he said moving closer, his movements slow almost hesitate his focus solely on her and the blade in her hand. “It makes sense now.”

  
She looked at him, the demon’s voice sad, disappointed almost.

  
“Your deal… it makes sense now.” He continued. “You weren’t running from your past, you were protecting it.”

  
The grim smile that Crowley was beginning to hate was back again.

  
“Someone give you a cookie, you figured it out.” Catherine said her voice bitter, biting. “Somehow I never expected the king of Hell as the one to try and talk me off the ledge.”

  
“Believe me, my dear, if it was a few years ago, it wouldn’t be.” Crowley said with a slight chuckle. “But somehow you’ve grown on me these past few months and I can’t in good conscious let you jump without trying at least.”

  
Catherine shakes her head the tip of her blade puncturing her arm, a thin line of blood flowed down. “I’m useless, I’ve given my all, and can’t anymore. I nearly jumped from this bridge years ago, it’s time that I do just that and rid the world of my presence for good. No one will care when I’m gone, it doesn’t matter.”

  
“Kitten, I know you’ve been fighting, a battle that it doesn’t seem that you can win.” Crowley spoke moving ever closer. “You’ve probably been fighting for longer than anyone realizes, you're scarred inside and out, and you’ve been stronger than most people ever could be. Don’t let that strength fail today. Don’t do this.”

  
She turned completely glaring at the demon tears in her eyes. “Why does it even matter? I’m damned anyway! I have no reason to be here anymore. Why do you even care?”

  
“To be honest, I don’t bloody well know, other than you remind me of someone and I’ll be twice damned before I fail them twice.” Crowley growled, moving forward quicker than the human thought was physically possible. He grabbed her wrist, pulling the blade away from it and throwing it into the gorge below. “Now how about another deal? You given me another year and if things are not looking up for you after that year, I will take you early but if they are you get the rest of your original deal, with more years to be debated later.”

  
Catherine struggled trying to break the demon’s grip on her arms.

  
“Now none of that, kitten. My deal is a good one and you know it. It’s a win win for you. Just agree and I’ll let you go.”

  
She struggled for a few more minutes, her struggles useless against the strength of the demon before she broke down into tears. Her legs couldn’t hold her anymore and soon she was kneeling on the bridge, crying as Crowley awkwardly tried to support her. As her tears tapered off, he asked again. “You willing to give this deal a chance?”

  
She nodded into his shoulder and with a snap, Crowley teleported them to a hotel suite and laid her on the bed, asleep. He stared down at her, what to do, what to do. Using a little more magic, he was able to push his way into her mind. He found all of the things that fascinated her, all of her passions from when the darkness could be held at bay and he went with that. She loved learning new things, liked being useful, in fact almost needed to be needed, and had a bizarre gift in that she was able to make order out of chaos in relative ease. He had the perfect plan and if he was lucky those idiots should be able to protect one girl, right.

  
He pulled out his cell and with a few calls had what was left of Cat’s belongings being brought up to the room and made sure his two biggest pains in the ass were going to be home the next day. There was a knock on the door and with a wave of his hand one of his lackeys came in with one duffel bag, a mostly empty backpack, and a set of car keys. He frowned looking at her meager possessions and shook his head. With a whispered conversation, the lackey was gone again. The demon returned hours later, its arms full of bags.

  
Crowley just directed them to be left in the corner. His mind was lost in thought as he looked at the woman lying before him. The more he thought about it the more he realized who she reminded him of, his sister and he knew that he would do anything in his power to keep her safe, to make up for his past failure. I mean please do people honestly believe that he sold his sold for a few more inches below the belt.

  
He just waited staring, thinking until dawn came, and Cat started to stir. She opened her eyes, confused and looked around the room, before her eyes fell on Crowley.

  
“You” she growled pushing herself upright anger evident on her face.

  
“Yes, kitten.” He said calmly.

  
“You tricked me.”

  
“Demon.”

  
“You can’t stop me again,” she growled.

  
“The last deal you made my dear will,” the king said with a smirk. “I have a year’s time, to convince you that your life is worth living and you won’t be able to do anything in that time. Now I’ve got a plan so you might as well get up and face the day.”

  
She glared at the demon but ended up doing just that. Hours later she was standing in a massive library as Crowley argued with three men, Squirrel, Moose, and Castiel and after about an hour of that and a lot of grumbling on ‘my name is Dean you half pint…..who is moose Sam?’ she had a new home and a duty, trying to organize all of the information held by a long dead organization called the Men of Letters.

 

* * *

  
**One year later:**

  
“Charlie have you seen the book on incubi?” Catherine’s voice rang out.

  
“It should be on the same shelf as the book on sirens.” The redhead’s voice supplied.

  
Crowley stood on the landing looking down to where the woman worked. “How is she?”

  
“She’s better, there still are bad days, and heaven forbid you piss her off sometimes but, she’s doing ok.” Dean answered.

  
“What do you think her answer is going to be?” the demon asked.

  
“Honestly I’m not sure, I would love for her to say no, she’s indispensable here, but it’s her decision.”

  
Crowley nodded and went to meet the girl. For his own amusement, he decided to teleport until he was standing right behind her, the woman pouring over the book laid out in front of her. He cleared his throat and was pleasantly surprised when she jumped slightly and then turned around.

  
“Well darling, what’s your choice?” He asked his voice calm.

  
“I was wondering when you were going to show up today.” Cat replied. “One would think that this would be an easy thing to answer, but it’s not. Every day is a struggle still, some better than others. There are some days when the darkness is but a memory and there are other days when I can feel it dragging me down.” She paused her voice barely more than a whisper. “But shouldn’t it be easy, live or die, it’s supposed to be straightforward.”

  
“Things never are.” the demon said kindly.

  
She took a deep breath and raised her eyes to meet the kings. “I wish to remain until the end of my original deal. I have eight years and ten months to go and I plan on trying to make the most of them. Maybe by then this monstrosity.” she said waving her hand around the bunker, “will finally be functional again.” She paused once more a smirk playing on her lips, “and then we’ll see about Hell, I hear you could use a hand, my king.”

  
Crowley chuckled, “we’ll see, kitten. We’ll see.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please if you ever feel like Cat did in this fic, reach out. I swear it does get better and there are tons of people who care. Call a help line or crisis center. Below are some helplines in the US.
> 
> National Suicide Prevention Hotline  
> Phone: 1-800-784-2433
> 
> Depression Hotline  
> Phone: 1-630-482-9696
> 
> Suicide & Crisis Hotline  
> Phone: 1-800-999-9999
> 
> Suicide Prevention Lifeline  
> Phone: 1-800-273-825


End file.
